The Moon When Autumn Comes Slowly
I love the moon–for its smile, the seasons and tides, but am saddened it is inching away every year and a moonless world is a fearful thing. But worse I fear the moon when autumn comes slowly and illuminates my garden.
It was in that garden of our new home that Charity and I frolicked throughout that spectral autumn. We never argued, and then the air filled with psychedelic blooms of peyote.
I do not remember if we dared taste that life, but my world changed when the moon illuminated our garden. Looking up, Charity was larger than life, but her anger obvious in the moonlight as we ran through scented gardens of many-colored dreams–I know she died.
Troubled, I ran down the hill to the end of the garden by the stream. At the stone bridge I watched the ripples of time flow across the water, saw it bubble and effervesce from the pull of another autumn moon. Unearthly currents formed, stopping me from running across the bridge. Unable to traverse the bank and reach the cave, where I dreamed a time machine might be to bring Charity back, I stared at her reflection in the stream, strawberry blond hair flowing so gracefully, radiant smile apparent in her blue-green eyes. Did she really drown after leaving me? Had I tried to find and save her or did I let her go?
I ran along the edge of the stream, caught between the beckoning madness of the moon and my garden. Twisted woods appeared, mingled with leaves that constantly shimmered and changed shape and size, forever pulsating purple, yellow, red and green. Whenever the trees vanished, Charity appeared, begging me to follow. Blindly wading the stream I left it and followed an endless plain filled with a sea of peyote, each reflecting Charity’s tortured face, whispering words of comfort and condemnation.
Tirelessly I crossed the plains, my body thirsty for truth until I reached the sea, and continued out into the stench of black muddied samphire flats. Twisted saltbush grew around a circular mud-pit and I ran into its center, sinking slowly into that hellish ooze where Charity had died.
The ground screeched from my guilt as writhing forms underfoot came alive. The black pit of my despair opened and tentacles arose from the mud, each one splitting into three. At the ends were pairs of eyes, Charity’s eyes, hungry, searching, changing in and out of this dimension, becoming mouths with stained red teeth, eager to feed.
As they grew and surrounded me, I felt a new chill and the autumn moonlight faded as life ebbed from me. Finally I looked upon the face of the tyrant who had caused her death, and beheld my neglectful tortured self. Plunging headlong into the stinking pit of gnashing teeth, I sought relief from abandoning her and I vanished into the darkness of my guilt-ridden soul that was so anxious to consume me.
