Halloween
I visited one of those Halloween stores, one of those places that are like holes in the strip-mall all year long until October. From then they become kitschy one-stop shops for all things holiday, whether Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas. But on this occasion I was on the hunt for Halloween decorations. Wendy had asked me to pick up something “creepy.” She’s more into that stuff than I am.
A woman with some kind of European accent came from behind the checkout counter to offer her overemphatic help and guided me to the décor area. There were the usual items–police tape, foam headstones, life-size figures of deathlike characters, but what struck me were two plastic sheets hung on a wall side by side. Measuring about three feet by five, they pictured two huge spiders, bodies the size of footballs, against a plain orange background. One of them with eight outstretched legs, the other appearing perched and dormant. I felt like a kid, unable to tear my eyes away from one of the most frighteningly cool things I’d ever seen. I imagined them in our windows at home. I imagined Wendy’s reaction. It didn’t even cross my mind to look for alternatives.
“They are new,” the woman with the accent said from behind, startling me out of my trance. I hadn’t even realized she was still there. “Very popular this year,” she said.
“I imagine they are,” I concurred. “I’ll take these.” I flicked a pointed finger back and forth between the two spiders. The woman hummed satisfactorily.
“Very good,” she said.
She took a packaged set off one of the hooks to our left and set out to lead me back to the checkout. As she did, she dropped a plastic Bic lighter and it bounced and clicked against the hard warehouse floor. As I leaned down to retrieve it for her I couldn’t help but notice a nasty scar on the back of her right calf. It looked fresh, deep. She turned and caught me lingering, lighter in my fingers but eyes fixed on her leg.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” she said. “Had accident while preparing shop.”
Wendy was even more impressed than me, marveling at their realism. She began to push her point a bit far, however. Over the next couple days she swore to me that she saw them fidget or jerk slightly. Nonsense, of course. Childish attempts to freak me out, and given her sense of humor, it didn’t surprise me. But her acting was more convincing than usual, obnoxiously so, and I took none of it seriously–that is, until she tore the two sheets down from the windows.
“What did you do that for?” I demanded.
She was plainly upset, even outright terrified. She was throwing them away, she said. The spiders were moving. They were coming to life. Still pushing her joke. Still futilely trying to scare me, only now going ridiculously far. After more than an hour of contentious back-and-forth, I finally got them reinstalled. Wendy wasn’t happy about it, but maturity won out. I admit, I did wonder whether she was kidding or just losing it.
We always leave the bedroom door open when we turn in, but now she wanted it closed. She was scared, she said. More nonsense. I wouldn’t stand for it anymore. I reopened it just a crack while she was in the bathroom brushing her teeth so she wouldn’t notice. My own form of nonviolent protest. We shut off the lights, slid under the covers and kissed goodnight.
I’m awake now. It’s 3:16 a.m. I know because my head is turned toward the alarm clock, pressed against the pillow. Something sticky and firm over my skin. Overlapping layers of opaque strands. The bedroom door has been pushed wide open, and turning my eyes I can see two football-sized shadows with sinewy outgrowths moving in calculated motions. One directly above, another on the far wall. Wendy is screaming. She hadn’t been joking after all.
