MicroHorror

Chatter, chatter. That’s all I heard every morning. A lady needs her beauty sleep and I deserve it after sixty years of slaving in this godforsaken world. All I asked for was peace and quiet. Just a chance to go to bed, then wake up to a nice, peaceful morning with the sun rising and hitting my face, gently, like my husband’s hand used to be. After he had passed, I thought things would be quiet again, but instead I heard the chatter. The chatter of the little magpies outside. They were there every morning, chatter, chatter. Monday through Friday and sometimes Saturday. Wondered if they had lives. Places to go to like I did. Whether it was playing bridge or jumping off a bridge, I wouldn’t care, long as they just stopped chattering.

I wasn’t one for heavy metal music but if I was forced to listen to it, I think it would be more peaceful than the chatter I had to put up with each and every morning. Chatter, chatter.

My husband owned an axe. I remembered using it to stop his snoring. It had actually worked. Who needed those doctors to help you out? I had a better method. It had been heavy in my hands as I had approached my husband’s bedside, but once I had lifted it, the rest had been easy, gravity did the rest of the work. Right in the middle of his face! After that, silence.

I retrieved the axe again. I had told myself I’d never need to use it. Not that I hated using it, it was the cleanup that I hated. This time I was prepared. I got the big black garbage bags out beforehand and headed out the door. Sure I was in my nightgown, but what did shame matter. I got them as they headed to the sidewalk. Their backpacks hung on their backs. They didn’t see me coming out of the bushes. I swung the axe, silencing the first one. I thought the second one would run and squeal to her mommy. Luckily for me, she just stood there, so I gave it to her. Just hacked right into her. No need to wait for the baby teeth to come out, I did their mother a favor. They wouldn’t fit into the bag, so I had to cut them both down a bit more. After that, it was just a matter of putting the pieces into the bags, tying the bags up and leaving it on the side for the garbage man to pick up.

Now, just peace and quiet, except for those sirens in the background.