MicroHorror

I really wanted to join the Lambda House fraternity. So, when the brothers sent me to find a wide variety of animal droppings, I knew that I’d have to sneak into the veterinary college. I passed through the dim halls without notice, but the Animal Room’s heavy, metal door was locked. The lights were off and I found it difficult to see inside through the small Plexiglas pane. But I could make out the shadows of cages and shelves. What I really noticed was the thick brown smell that washed through the hallway. How could such a strong odor penetrate a soundproof door? Suddenly, the lights went off in the hallway, and clicked on in the Animal Room. The cages were empty.

I was the one being hunted!

I began to run along the linoleum, rounding the corner, and plowed full-on into a huge furry body. Screaming, I clawed at it. Another hairy monster leaped on me, knocking me to the floor, and others piled on, smothering me. My bladder let go, and a high pitched keening emerged from my throat.

The next morning the veterinary staff found me crammed into one of the larger cages, naked, amongst the returned animals. One of them picked a note up from the desk and handed it to me. “That must be for you,” he said wryly, examining a large ape-suit hanging over the chair.

We regret to inform you that your candidacy to become a Lambda has been rejected.