The Bemoaned Dignitaries
In memory of Edward Gorey (Sorry I can’t draw).
Arnold’s last words were: Antifreeze is syrupy and sweet.
Beatrice’s last words were: Bees! Bees! Bees!
Clay’s last words were: Cold… but they’ll find me.
Drake’s last words were: Don’t pull that lever.
Eileen’s last words were: Elephants are frightened far too easily.
Fredericka’s last words were: Fingers!? Where are my fingers?
George’s last words were: God, oh God.
Hildy’s last words were: How did the duck pull the trigger?
Ingrid’s last words were: I am not loved.
John’s last words were: Joking… please, please I swear I was only joking.
Kendrick’s last words were: Killed on my birthday; just my luck.
Liam’s last words were: Let me lick that.
Mona’s last words were: My head hurts.
Nathaniel’s last words were: Nobody knew me.
Oswald’s last words were: One last drink won’t kill me.
Philip’s last words were: Perhaps I am too reckless.
Quentin’s last words were: Quiet at last.
Rosalind’s last words were: Roses are red and now I am dead.
Sylvia’s last words were: Such a wasted life.
Trent’s last words were: That was unexpected.
Umberto’s last words were: Under here the seeker will never find me hiding.
Vincent’s last words were: Very funny.
Winifred’s last words were: Why didn’t I ever travel?
Xandra’s last words were: X-rays probably shouldn’t be this painful.
Yvonne’s last words were: You don’t have the guts!
Zachariah’s last words were: Zoos usually have the animals locked in, don’t they?

Wow. Get me laughing then slap my face. Hiding the really poignant ones between sillier phrases really increases their impact.
Comment by Adrian Ludens — January 10, 2009 @ 2:26 am
I’m sure Mr. Gorey would approve! Well done :)
Comment by Inxtcy — October 25, 2011 @ 10:28 am