…What You Eat
“…What You Eat” was pitched to the networks as a one-hour special about a competitive eating tournament, similar to other programs featuring unsavory foods. Except in this case, the food products would be fat. Specifically, fat removed from liposuction patients. Specifically, fat the contestants had sucked out a few weeks earlier, dyed pastel shades like Easter eggs. People watched, and were sickened by the sights they saw. But they watched. When “…What You Eat” was picked up as a weekly series, the creators consulted physicians to see what was healthy to remove and eat for a regular series. An oncology episode had cancer survivors eating their tumors. A British episode had contestants scarfing down steak-and-their-own-kidney pies. Recent car accident victims ingested the teriyaki-glazed chunks of their own arms and legs. Spleens. Appendixes. Jaundiced halves of livers. Undeveloped twins. GI tract sausage. Pints of fresh blood. Frostbitten fingers and toes. Skateboarders’ knees. Loose skin of the formerly overweight. The coup de grace was six men with pacemakers devouring their own cardiac muscle. Plans were in the works for a spinoff of “…What You Eat,” if it got big enough ratings. The working title was “Friends for Dinner.”