MicroHorror

“Excuse me, sir,” said the man on the sidewalk. “Can you spare a couple of dollars?”

Eldon Walker had been in the situation a thousand times. It was par for the course for a business traveler. He avoided eye contact, said, “I cannot,” and quickly moved by the man.

“That’s just fine, sir,” the man said.

It was unusual for a beggar to make such a comment. They usually just moved on to the next person, seeming to understand that the more people they asked, the higher the probability of scoring a few bucks. The man said more.

“How’s that impotence coming along?”

Eldon swung around. He saw the man was talking to a woman in a business suit, who was ignoring him as well as Eldon had done. Turning with the woman as she walked by, the man made eye contact with Eldon. He seemed to assess him, as if fearful. Eldon moved away. Maybe he had misheard.

He went into a coffee shop. A smiley woman took his order, a cappuccino with a double shot of espresso to go. She turned to make his drink and spoke over the machines.

“What do you think of this cold weather?”

“Very cold,” he said in a rushed tone that he hoped would get across his desire not to converse.

It seemed to work. She went quietly about making his drink. When she was done, he paid and tipped her a dollar. He was walking out when she spoke again.

“Can’t slip it to the wife, but you sure slipped it to the five thousand who will lose their jobs in the merger.”

Eldon whipped around. “What did you just say?”

Her face grew frightened. “I didn’t say anything, sir.”

Eldon turned and walked out. He couldn’t have heard what he thought he’d heard. She couldn’t have known about the meeting he had just left.

His mishearings had to be a psychological reaction to the stress of the meeting and his pounding headache. That was all.

He walked back to the hotel and up to guest services. He asked the attendant, a neat-looking young man, for Motrin. The attendant fetched him a miniature packet. Eldon took the pills and walked away.

“Many homes will be broken by the merger,” said the attendant. “But your home will be broken by a broken dick.”

Eldon didn’t bother looking back. He rushed to the elevator, got in, went to his floor, and then got into his room, where he latched the door, feeling much safer now that there was no one around to be misheard.

He sat on the bed. He was about to take the Motrin when he noted his reflection in the mirror. Only it wasn’t his reflection. It was the reflection of the bum, smiling at him. The reflection spoke.

“Why do you think you’re doing this to yourself?”

Eldon wanted to look away, but something had paralyzed him. He couldn’t even close his eyes. The pain in his head seemed to be spiraling out of control. The reflection changed to the smiley barista at the coffee shop. “It’s because I’m you, Eldon.”

The reflection changed to the attendant at guest services. “You are me, Eldon.”

Eldon felt like his head was actually growing.

The next person in the mirror was wearing the uniform of a worker from his company. “Why do you want to hurt yourself?”

The reflection changed to another worker. “We are five thousand of you, Eldon, and you are one of us.”

The reflection continued to change, and his pain continued to intensify. He feared he would see all five thousand, but he feared more that his head would explode before he got there.

• Copyright: © 2009 Joshua Scribner