MicroHorror

I’m really going to do it this time. I’m breaking the habit. I’m resisting the temptation. I’m through.

Please, look at me. You now I can’t handle it when you don’t look at me.

I’m sorry. And I know you’ve heard it all before. I know last time I said it was the last time and then I did it again. But you have to understand how hard it is to quit. It’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. I tell myself to resist the urge, and I fight. I really fight, with all I have. But the more I fight, the more I want it. I did what you said. I just tried not to think about it. But the more I tried not to think about it, the more it haunted me, until I found myself doing it again.

I’ve even tried to take up other interests to get my mind off of it. I play chess online, and I’m pretty good. I work crosswords and I’m not bad at that either. But then it invades my mind, and I can’t concentrate on those things. There’s only one thing I can do.

But I’m telling you, this time, it’s going to be different. Please, look at me. I don’t want you to hate me. I know because of what I’ve done, we can never be together again. I can accept that. But I can’t handle the thought of you hating me. Do you want to see me cry? Do you want to see me beg? Do you want to see me kill myself?

Ahh. There it is. There’s my girl. Come here.

You feel so good. And you look good too. You deserve the best, and that’s what you should get. I’m going to do whatever it takes to quit this time. This time, I won’t track you down and kill whatever man you’ve run away with. Now let’s go hide just one more body, and I promise this will be the last one.