Road Kill
“Okay, I just need to go over a few questions.”
“That’s fine. I’m just a bit shaken up.”
“Completely understandable. Happens all the time.”
“Yeah. That deer just came out of nowhere.”
“Strangely, we don’t get too many deer in this stretch of road. So how fast were you going?”
“Fast? Um, I don’t quite remember. But not fast though, I was just trying to get home for my wife’s birthday.”
“Sir, have you been drinking?”
“Uh, well, I was just doing a bit of celebrating.”
“Uh-huh.”
“The deer just–”
“One more question before I let you head on your way.”
“Sure, but my wife must be really worried; for some reason I can’t get my cell phone to work. Is there a way to get a message to her?”
“Don’t worry about that right now. So were you celebrating alone?”
“Um, well…”
“Drinking, speeding. This is serious. I can’t let you off with just a warning, but at this point, honesty can only help.”
“My friend’s place is right up the road.”
“Friend?”
“My girlfriend, all right? But that doesn’t have to go into the report, does it? I mean… I’d hate to upset my wife. It is her birthday, after all.”
“Uh-huh. Well, I think I have everything I need. If you would just step over to the elevator.”
“Elevator, in the middle… where did that come from? Am… I… dead?”
“As road kill. You went down in the ravine. Died instantly. No pain, unfortunately. Can’t say the same for the other car you forced off the road. Newlyweds.”
“But… but…”
“Off you go. He’s waiting.”
“Hey, wait a minute.”
“Can’t. Seven-car pileup on I-95. I’m going to be busy all night.”
“But, that’s the down button! I thought…”
“Completely understandable, happens all the time.”
