MicroHorror

The saying is “when it rains, it pours,” and although it’s meant figuratively, now it is literally true. It has rained here in Kansas every day for a month and all day long, making one soupy, drippy mess out of the environment and civilization. What’s left of it.
 
Did I mention it was acid rain? No, not the kind you are probably thinking of, that hard rain full of acidic sulfur and nitrogen compounds, but a real acid rain. LSD. Mixed with the drizzle and pounding us, along with most of the rest of the US, daily. God knows where it came from, or how it is even possible.
 
Of course the problem is keeping it from dosing you, and that isn’t easy. Sure, you can keep your mouth shut and wear a surgical mask, but it can ooze through exposed skin in time, so you have to be covered head to toe in a makeshift bio-suit if you need to go out in it. And since the rain never stops, that becomes a necessity.
 
Some people on the still-functioning late night radio stations (TV towers shorted out the first week, and the link to communications satellites must be blocked by the heavy, omnipresent clouds so cell phones and computers are out) think it’s aliens. Softening us up for an alien invasion.
 
Not a new idea and not an unexpected one either, given how trippy everyone’s mind is. The conspiracy nuts on the radio say that aliens from some distant world have picked Earth for harvesting (whatever that means) and seeded the artificially created clouds with LSD, inundating us with it, so we are tripping and hallucinating most of the time and couldn’t mount a defense if our lives depended on it, which, to the conspiracy nuts, it does. First the US, then the rest of the countries in descending order of viable military threat. The radio stations will let anyone ramble on as they need to fill the long hours from dusk to dawn, and the DJs are high as kites too.
 
The other day I thought I saw a tall, seven-foot maybe, dark green alien with enormous black eyes and jagged mouth full of delicate fangs skulking around the little park at the end of our block. But it was, no doubt, an LSD hallucination fueled by the fantasies of those dosed dimwits on the radio. Aliens roaming around in the middle of Kansas. I’m losing it.
 
Of course, this acid rain would be an effective strategy; disorient the enemy so completely they couldn’t what is real and what isn’t. Then just round up the helpless civilians and, maybe, I dunno, eat them with those numerous and wicked fangs that I imagined seeing. Now I sound as crazy as those acid casualties on the radio.

Wait, something is finally happening to that massive cloudbank overhead. Dark shapes, round, saucer-like, hundreds, maybe thousands of them are floating down. No, not floating–flying; they’re vehicles, some kind of airplane or… spacecraft. The first few are landing already. I can see their metal tripod legs extending and pushing into the soggy ground. Hatchways are opening and tall green creatures are exiting in military formation. And it has finally stopped raining.
 
Wow, if I didn’t think this was just another LSD hallucination, I would be scared shitless right now.