Flea Circus
“Lords and ladies, your Renaissance Faire is as unrealistic as this plastic sword! The Dark Ages did not have snack bars every corner! And if by happenstance they did, you peasantry could afford neither the Mountain Dew nor the cheeseburger! None of you would be playing a human chess match; you wouldn’t even be able to read! You would toil 12 months of the year in the fields only for your feudal lord to snatch your harvest as tribute to himself! You had fourteen children just because you wanted one to live past five! What an unpleasant place to reside, you say? We agree! And by only seeing this loathsome Disneyland past, you misconceive the value of the modern world! Today is a paradise for peasants of yesteryear! And today, we will demonstrate this! Our star attraction this Saturday is a swarm of fleas, 10,000 strong, released at sunrise from the corpse of a plague-infected rat! Every itch you feel could be the beginning of your end! Every cough might be your lymphs hastening you to your grave! But rejoice! For as the plague killed one of every three during the Dark Ages, in the hallowed 21st century only one in seven will die! Thank your God for modern medicine, and be glad you live in such fortunate times!”