MicroHorror

Ingredients:
2 “prepared” veal chops
1 half-cup flour
4 tsp. olive oil
1 lemon, squeezed
One tsp. rosemary
One pinch salt
One pinch pepper

The Maiden’s Veal can be prepared with any veal chop or cutlet, but it is strongly recommended that properly prepared meat be used. Maiden’s veal is not available in supermarkets, so a trip to your local butcher is required. Certain shops specialize in these fine cuts of veal–but don’t bother asking any kosher butcher shop. Like all veal, Maiden’s veal comes from male calves that have been kept in small pens and fed a milk diet to keep the meat creamy and tender. Animal rights activists have fought for better conditions for veal calves, but the activists fortunately seem unaware of Maiden’s veal so far. Maiden’s veal calves are kept in a pen, but one with spikes on either side, much like the famous iron maiden. The spikes are arranged to punish even the smallest movement with a poke from sharpened iron. Veal calves are overwhelmingly tender in these, having been forced to stand still for their entire lives. Periodic spike resizings allow the calves room to grow large without incurring fatal injuries. When calves are fat enough, a hand crank at the base of each maiden cage extends the spikes, slowly killing them. One twist is given each hour, and death usually takes 12 hours. This slaughtering method is more from tradition than anything else, but some chefs do claim that the prolonged suffering of the calves adds an additional level of tenderness. For the true Maiden’s veal fans, ask the butcher to attend his next Maidening ceremony–maybe he’ll let you turn the crank on a few calves. Once the veal is procured, preparation is simple. Wet the veal and bread with the flour. Sauté in mixture of olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, salt and pepper, turning each cutlet twice. Serves two.