MicroHorror

“Henry!”

“Henry! Hurry! They’re coming,” Helen said.

“Helen, I’m trying to watch my show,” Henry called from the living room.

Helen ran into the living room eyes wide, face flushed and looked her husband in the eyes. “Henry, it’s the posse.”

Henry jumped up and said, “Shit!”

“What are we gonna do? You know how these clowns get!”

“I know, Helen, I know.” He held up his right arm with the missing hand.

“How do they know?”

Henry hitched his only thumb to the left. “Trikeman. He told. That bastard! I’ll get him! He always leaves his tricycles in the driveway. I’ve never told on him before but if he wants to play then we’ll play.”

“I’ll take the blame this time but you gotta stop doing stuff without permission.”

The doorbell rang. Helen and Henry looked at each other and Helen opened the door. Red curly haired, white faced, red nosed, impossibly large red frowned mouths, blue triangle eyed men dragged Helen down the walkway to their tiny car.

Henry grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat in his favorite chair in front of the TV and waited for Helen’s return. He heard the front door open. Helen walked in and held up her bandaged right hand. They had only taken a pinky this time. She handed Henry a piece of paper.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Henry Bozeman:

It has been brought to our attention that you are in violation of the Covenants, Conditions and Restrictions for Clownatopia Glen Clown Owners Association Article VI, Section III that states:

“You may not alter, add, remove and/or change anything, anything at all on your property without prior written consent from the Clownatopia Beautification Committee.”

You have 24 hours to remove the birdhouse from your backyard and off the property.

Consider this your first warning. Penalties are as follows:
First – Pinky from right hand
Second – Right hand
Third – Wife’s Dignity
Fourth – Bludgeoning by not quite ripe tomatoes

Sincerely,
The Beautification Committee
Clownatopia Glen Clown Owners Association, Inc.