I’m Hatin’ It
The grease dripped off of the grills slowly at first. The grease that was on the floor slithered across the tiles into one giant, boiling, disgusting puddle. As the puddle grew and grew, and began to coalesce and coagulate into a monstrous ball of cholesterol, the grease that had not yet joined the party moved faster so as to catch up. Then out of the trash cans came flying all sorts of deliciously wretched things: burnt hamburger meat, moldy buns, soggy French fries. Eventually, plastic forks and spoons and knives decided to contribute themselves to the forming abomination. The mass of fast-food waste stepped into the oven where the cookies were baked and, a minute later, out stepped one of the most disgusting creatures I’d ever seen. The beast was dark brown in color, and had skin that resembled that of a severe burn victim. It was round like a deformed meatball. Instead of hands, this monstrosity had fork-arms and its feet were bent spoons. It had a tail, the point of which was a knife. The demon had no eyes or ears, but rather seventeen mouths, each of which contained at least twenty razor-sharp teeth and a forked tongue.
“Excellent,” I said. “I shall call you ‘King McDonald.’”
Would you like demise with that?
