MicroHorror

Andrew Shaffer’s short stories have appeared in Mobius and Tales from the Moonlit Path, where he took an honorable mention prize in their 2006 Halloween contest. His short story, “Forget Me Not,” was named 1st Runner-Up in the Dark Recesses Ghost Story Contest this past January. He received his B.A. in English from the University of Iowa, and recently attended a summer session at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop taught by author Chris Offutt. Visit his personal site at www.orderofstandrew.com.

October 8, 2007

The People Patch

While you’ll see all shapes and sizes, the rounder ones provide a large, uniform canvas. You’ll want one in good condition that can stand up on its own; avoid bruised or discolored skin. At home in the garage, sever its carotid artery (found in the neck). Allow fifteen seconds for it to lose consciousness as the blood drains. Next, as you scrape the insides clean of guts, I recommend a durable, polished aluminum ice cream scoop that fits comfortably in your hand–it will go a long way towards preventing carpal tunnel. Now you’re ready to carve your masterpiece!

March 11, 2007

Red Wine

Michael Rogan picked up the bottle of wine and held it close to his eyes to examine the label: a recent vintage Australian Merlot, with soft acidity, medium body, and hints of oak and black cherry. The price was right. He set it onto a cushion of frozen vegetables in his shopping cart. He was fifty-five and his eyesight wasn’t what it used to be. Neither was his taste in wine, for that matter; there was a time when any wine would do. In his younger days, Michael had paired White Zinfandel with fried chicken and Cabernet Sauvignon with salmon. Rookie mistakes. Over the years, however, his tolerance for poorly-matched wines and foods had diminished, much like his ability to spot it from arm’s length. Michael had what you would call a mature palate.

It was Saturday afternoon, and Michael’s red wine stock had unexpectedly run empty from so many nights of red meat. The supermarket was packed. Since he retired, he’d become accustomed to the relative lack of shoppers out and about on weekday mornings. The Saturday shopping traffic wasn’t a problem for Michael, who hung his wife’s handicapped tag from his rearview mirror and parked in the front row at the supermarket. What the hell, he thought. His wife couldn’t drive any longer, so someone had to use the tag.

In the dairy section, two twenty-year-old boys stopped him as he searched for a hard Parmesan cheese. “Mr. Rogan!” one of the boys said, snapping Michael out of his shopping daze. There were only two types of people that addressed him as Mr. Rogan: telemarketers, whom he hated, and students, whom he hated even more.

He recognized one of the boys as one of his art students from a few years ago. This was just before he had retired early to care for his ailing wife. “How are you boys doing?” Michael said.

“Good, good. Just pickin’ up a case of brewskie,” Jacob said, holding his case of Coors Light up for Michael to see. “And you?”

“Just picking up some wine for my wife,” Michael said. It seemed that he never stopped talking about his wife. There was the cancer that spread through her body like a spilled drink being absorbed into carpet, and then the long and painful bedside vigil that Michael held that required him to retire early. Michael had cared for his wife as the illness ravaged her body. After an awkward pause, he said, “Are either of you married yet?”

The boys looked at each other and laughed. Michael could see they were unshaven and untamed by the female of the species. They had no idea yet of the companionship that a spouse could provide as the years stretched on into decades. Right now, these boys just needed each other, beer, and take-out food. Neither of them could know the lengths that one could be pushed to facing losing someone forever. When the doctors had given Michael’s wife only three months to live, Michael knew that there was only one way to keep her with him as long as possible. That was two years ago; now he was still taking care of her and refused to let her go. His wife wasn’t in any condition to be seen, but he lined her room with the flowers and get-well cards that trickled in.

You’ll understand one day, Michael thought. “Take care, all right? I’ve got to get back to my old lady,” he said. The boys nodded goodbye, walking off with their cases of beer back to their bachelor-pad lives. Michael didn’t have the same luxury. Although his wife was no longer sick, she still required care. A tender filet of her right thigh was defrosting in the kitchen sink right now, and his wife tended to go bad quicker than other red meats. She would spoil if Michael didn’t get back to her soon, Michael thought as he picked up the perfect Parmesan cheese to complement his meal.



Home | All Stories by Title | List of All Authors | FAQs and Submission Rules | Links

Powered by WordPress