Adieu
Firmly strapped flat on his back, David couldn’t move so he tried to remember instead.
Yes, before college he had believed love was endlessly renewable. That was until the day gin had caused ice to slide below his tires. Drunk, he had jerked the steering wheel wrong. Jenny that day rode beside him in the car, her mouth an oh of surprise, red lips as if about to blow a bubble. Yes, those winter crisp days had hacked off his right foot when their car smashed too fast into a tree.
A hand-carved cane and a fake foot inside a real shoe meant women were rarer. A degree in Engineering just a breath away when the Loma Prieta quake dropped his steel filing cabinet across him, papers he’d written scattered across black tile stained red with his blood. The remainder of his right leg had bid him adieu under a surgically masked face that same afternoon.
A crutch and pinned-up pant leg for seven years at the same job. No girls, not forever. Food that had once had tasted so good now seemed boring and bland. Up and dressed before dawn for the hour-long commute, the bus blindsided by a tractor trailer running out of control downhill. His left leg that day had been pinched off like in youth he had squeezed a zit. Blood and black and pain.
Legless David was rolled in his non-motorized wheelchair by a woman discovered in court when he’d sued the trucking company. Wild red hair and buck teeth but strong with love for him. She liked to camp in the mountains. Parked by a fire, he charred fish on long sticks, millions of stars overhead. He reached for Susan but they’d argued and she became angry. He looked up from the bottom of a cliff where he’d been pushed. He said goodbye to his left arm that night, goodbye to Susan and adieu to his foolish youth.
One-armed David sipped a dry martini. Gentle surf lapped white sand as gulls called under puffy fat overfed clouds. A thin blanket covered his legless lap. A woman he’d hired read travel adventure books aloud to him with her French accent. Sometimes in the corners of his mind he could remember walking those foreign streets, tasting roasted grubs. Yes, riding horses, he could almost remember the smell of their sweat and their muscles straining as he rode across the grasslands of Australia. He hadn’t felt the snake bite him because of too many martinis that day. The woman had dropped her book and screamed at him in French. He’d lost his last arm because it had blackened, festered and hurt and had to be amputated.
David lay on his back on a hard table under a too-bright light. He wanted to move his head and look, but it was held with tape or plastic tight across his forehead and tight all across his body. A man dressed in blood-soaked painter’s coveralls wearing a white surgical mask walked into view. He held up an oblong package wrapped in plastic. “Your arm,” he said and chuckled. “Say adieu to your last arm.”
David thought back to all the things he had done, the women, the drinks, the travel. Wild red hair and buck teeth. He opened his mouth as if to say oh. He realized in a moment of clarity that those memories hadn’t been real. He’d been given drugs, strong drugs by the man in the mask.
A big saw, the kind used to cut limbs off of trees, fluttered glowing red-hot into view, held by the man over David’s neck. David closed his eyes. He remembered kissing Jenny that night long ago, her lips warm but tasting of tobacco, her hair smelled like sage. Rock music played a loud heavy rhythm he felt more than heard. He pulled her close and tight and hoped with all his might that this, his last memory, was real.
