Blood Bank Bill
“Blood bank, Bill.” The lab tech answered the phone.
“Sure, I’ll get it ready”..
“I have 350… maybe 400 milliliters ready to expire.”
“Okay, give me about an hour to throw it through the cell washer.”
The midnight silence of the hospital hallway was broken with the sound of footsteps as a tall, slender man approached the blood bank. Bill put down his paperback, walked out of the lab office and stood by one of the glass door refrigerators. The darkly complected man in a black suit and tie stepped into the lab with a white box labeled “Biohazard–Human Blood Products.”
Bill opened the refrigerator without a greeting and grabbed three bags of blood off of the quarantined shelf. He placed the units of blood on a tabletop scale and read the digital number result.
“352 mL, two O-negatives and a B-positive, packed cells, washed free of all preservatives, ready to go. Lets round it to 350 and make the math easy. It’s late and I hate doing math after midnight. 700 bucks.” Bill politely thanked the mid-thirties-looking gentlemen for the business and added: “Do you own anything else but that suit? It’s kinda creepy, dude. Looks like you just came from a funeral.”
“Never been to a funeral and don’t plan on going to any.”
“You know, one of these days, a security guard at the front desk is going to want to see some kind of identification from you to prove you actually work for the community blood bank.”
“Don’t worry about the guards. They’re all used to seeing me come around here by now. Believe me, I’m an old pro at this. I’ll be in contact with you in a few days.”
“Boy, you’re picking up the pace with these deliveries. This is the third one this week”.
“Is there a problem?”
“No, not at all. No problems here. I throw expired blood away almost every night. And anyhow, I can use the money. I’ve got three teenage boys eating me out of house and home.”
“Well… I also have soon-to-be-teenage twin boys at home and have the same problem going on.”
One week went by and no midnight phone calls were made to the blood bank for a special delivery. Bill wondered if his cash flow was going to be shut off without notice. He found out on his way to work that night.
The lab tech was barely two blocks from his house when he noticed he was not alone in the car. Two identical faces stared back at him in the rear view mirror. Bill cursed and slammed hard on the brakes. The car came to a screeching halt and then forced him backwards. The two teenage boys laughed loudly from the backseat.
Before Bill could move, one of the boys grabbed the back of his hair and easily lifted him a couple of inches off of his seat. The other said:
“You know what’s so funny back here, Blood Bank Bill?”
Bill’s heart was pounding so hard he could not catch his breath enough to speak. His head was bent back over the seat and his throat burned from the stretch.
“We’re both off of baby food!”
