Sins of the Flesh by Nathan Rosen
	Henry didn't think the spell would really work, but he had already pulled the book out of the stacks in the university library, and his roommate had headed off to some big frat party, so what better way to kill a Friday night than by trying to summon a demon in his dorm room? After kicking some textbooks under the bed and deflating the couch, there was enough room on the floor to draw the pentacle with the chalk Henry had swiped from the English building. Meticulously following the book's directions, Henry inscribed the designs on the gray industrial carpet. Once that was done, he placed the candles, lit them one by one, and chanted the incantation. When Henry pronounced the last syllable, there was a flash of light and an odor of brimstone. Within the pentacle stood a hideous being with bright red skin covered in oozing pustules. Two twisted black horns erupted from the creature's forehead, shadowing narrow yellow eyes. The less said about the condition of its teeth, and the stench that emanated from behind them, the better. Henry stared. "WHO DARES DISTURB THE SLUMBER OF CZERGOLOK, DUKE OF HELL?" roared the demon. "I-- er, that is--" "SILENCE! CZERGOLOK IS DISPLEASED! CZERGOLOK REFUSES TO NEGOTIATE UNTIL HE IS PROVIDED WITH THE BLOOD OF VIRGINS!" The book hadn't said anything about virgin's blood. Henry began to sweat. "Um, Czergolok, sir... um... what do you mean by virgins?" Czergolok stared. "WHAT CRETINOUS MORTAL IS THIS THAT KNOWS NOT WHAT IS A VIRGIN?" "No, no, I know what the word means, it's just that... well... how do you really define that? What counts as sex?" Czergolok, Duke of Hell, Devourer of Souls, Son of the Thousand-Eyed Goat, had no reply. His jaw hung open in amazed silence as Henry continued. "I mean, does someone have to have had, you know, actual intercourse, or does just, like, fooling around count, or, I mean-- you know, a few years ago the President got into trouble because he didn't think that oral was real sex. And how about, say, lesbians? I mean, they have sex, but if the, you know, hymen is still intact, then are they still virgins? I'm sorry, but you're going to have to be more specific." The demon tried to wrap his tongue around unfamiliar syllables. "LESBIANS?" "Well, yeah. This is the twenty-first century, did you know that? People have sex with each other in all kinds of ways, and there's all kinds of arguments over what's really sex, and who's really a virgin. I just don't know what you need." Henry found himself taking pity on the confused demon. "Here, let me show you something. This is called the Internet..." Several hours of browsing later, Czergolok emitted a howl of agony. "CZERGOLOK CAN TAKE THIS NO LONGER! CZERGOLOK CANNOT COMPREHEND THESE... FETISHES... PONYGIRLS... FURRIES... LADYBOYS... MILKS?" "MILFs," corrected Henry sheepishly. "CZERGOLOK'S HEAD IS SPINNING! CZERGOLOK RETURNS NOW TO HELL, WHERE THINGS MAKE SENSE!" And with that, there was another flash of light, and only a hint of sulfur in the air remained as evidence of the demon's presence. Henry blew out the candles, rubbed out the pentacle and flopped onto his bed, amazed by the complexity of the world. A key turned in the lock, and Henry's roommate Shaun walked in, shutting the door behind him. "Hey. Lousy party. You didn't miss anything. What were you up to while I was gone?" "Oh, nothing. I missed you." "I missed you, too." No further words were spoken as the two men locked in a passionate kiss.
	Copyright © 2006 Nathan Rosen