 |
"Lords and ladies, your
Renaissance Faire is as unrealistic as this plastic sword! The Dark
Ages did not have snack bars every corner! And if by happenstance they
did, you peasantry could afford neither the Mountain Dew nor the
cheeseburger! None of you would be playing a human chess match; you
wouldn't even be able to read! You would toil 12 months of the year in
the fields only for your feudal lord to snatch your harvest as tribute
to himself! You had fourteen children just because you wanted one to
live past five! What an unpleasant place to reside, you say? We agree!
And by only seeing this loathsome Disneyland past, you misconceive the
value of the modern world! Today is a paradise for peasants of
yesteryear! And today, we will demonstrate this! Our star attraction
this Saturday is a swarm of fleas, 10,000 strong, released at sunrise
from the corpse of a plague-infected rat! Every itch you feel could be
the beginning of your end! Every cough might be your lymphs hastening
you to your grave! But rejoice! For as the plague killed one of every
three during the Dark Ages, in the hallowed 21st century only one in
seven will die! Thank your God for modern medicine, and be glad you
live in such fortunate times!" |
|
