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"So Monique at work wanted me
to attend some religious movement, which is a total sham, but it gets
me right in line come bonus time. So I go, and the ritual ceremony
includes making some ball of clay to symbolize the goddess of the
environment. This damn clay got all over my damned suit! I had to drop
it off at the cleaners on Sunday, which naturally is nowhere close to
my office, where I end up spending all my weekends. It's a hassle, but
least it's an excuse my parents will buy for not spending every weekend
watching them wither. So I'm almost out the door at work when I get
this call from a woman who said she followed the prescription
co-payment application- the one I got a bonus for last year- and her
88-year-old mother is dead because a year later it hadn't gone into
effect. This is a real bummer, naturally, because Sunday afternoons
I've been hooking up with my neighbor Natalie while her husband's in
Iraq. I had just liberated some flowers from my office lobby to give to
Nat, and now I'll be stuck on the phone all day with this woman who'll
call the Better Business Bureau if she's not the avenger of her mom's
death. So I tell her there's a full investigation underway, she'll get
loads of cash, and then I give her a fake case number, which'll take
her a year to figure out is even fake. That being done, I pick up my
suit, go home, meet up with Natalie in that gorgeous house her husband
somehow pays for, and Nat has the nerve to say I'm living life on the
wrong path. Like I'm some big sinner breaking the Ten Commandments left
and right!" |
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